More about Austin, Filling in the Blanks & Meds.

I never got to the part in my last post about how I shocked Austin ...  although, the day I "made" him stay in his room was one of those times. I guess a better phrase for that would be 'make an impression on him'...  you have to make Austin understand 'why' he can't do certain things or act a certain way, not just punish him for it. Austin still can push me to that point upon occasion, but he knows now that when I am that angry with him, and I send him to his room..  he needs to stay there until I have calmed down enough to talk with him. I no longer have to 'make' him stay there. That one time did the trick.

Austin must have been about 5 years old, I picked them both up from school that day, and had to make a trip to the grocery store for a few essentials. I had explained to both of the boys that were were only getting these few things (milk, bread, a few other things we needed) and NOTHING more. So we go in, I get what we need, and we head to the checkout. We were standing there waiting for the customer in front of us to get done, and the boys were looking at the candy sitting there beside the register. They both asked for some, I told them No and reminded them of our conversation we had before we entered the store. They both pouted a bit, but I finished checking out and we left the store. I put the boys in the truck first (as I always did) and then loaded the groceries in the back. It was about a 10 minute ride from the store to our house, and on the way I heard this smacking sound in the back. I pulled to the side of the road, and turned around to look in the back to investigate who the smacking sound was coming from ...  Austin's face was covered in chocolate. I knew that he didn't have candy when I picked him up from school. He had stolen a candy bar from the store.

I turned the car around and went back to the store. I made him take the half eaten candy bar back into the store and hand it to the manager. I made him apologize to her and then he had to pay for it with 'his' money, and he didn't get to keep the candy. I had the manager throw it away.  After we got done at the store, I drove to the police station and had a police officer talk to him about what happens to people who take things that don't belong to them or that they don't pay for. He was very nice and gentle with Austin, but explained that it was wrong and that people who steal go to jail. Austin was scared and very upset, but he learned his lesson. He promised the police officer that he would never do anything like that again, and he apologized to him for stealing as well.

I have to say, that the older Austin gets, the better he gets. He is much easier to manage now than he was then; he listens and minds more. He always seemed to understand more than Andrew did, but it was harder to manage his behavior; where as, Andrew didn't understand as much, but his behavior was easier to deal with and manage.

I had to explain things more to Andrew, show him what I wanted from him, and explain until he "got it".  Andrew still has trouble with certain things...  like understanding Idioms, Figures f Speech, inferencing, etc. Andrew is, and always has been a VERY literal thinker. We have fun with it though. I remember one of the first times I used a figure of speech with him. It was raining really hard outside and we were watching the rain from the window. He must have been about 6 or 7 years old at the time, I said to him, "Gosh Andrew, It sure is raining cats and dogs outside, isn't it?"

He looked at me like I was the stupidest person on the planet, and then he walked away from me. I couldn't help myself..  I giggled a little and called him back in there. He came to me and I asked him if he knew what that meant. He shook his head NO, so I explained to him what it meant. After I finished explaining, he thought that was the funniest thing he had ever heard...  he ran into where his Dad was and told him, "Hey Dad, it's raining cats and dogs outside...  that just means that it is raining really hard outside. Isn't that funny?" The whole time he was telling Rich this..  he was laughing uncontrollably.

There was another time I remember.  The kids were on a break from school, and Rich happened to be home for whatever holiday it was....  I told the kids to go get their shoes on because we were going to go get something to eat and then do a little window shopping. Andrew had a confused look on his face, but went and got his shoes. He came back a few minutes later, still with that confused look on his face, and asked, "Mom?  You said that we were going to go window shopping, right?"

"Yes, sweetie. That's right," I replied.

Still looking very confused he said, "But this is a new house isn't it? Why do we need new windows?"

Rich and I both laughed a little, and then explained to him what "window shopping" meant. He thought that was the coolest phrase after that and used it quite often...  each time explaining what it meant after he said it. We have several books here now that have different idioms/FOS in them to help him learn. We also use FOS with him as much as we can so that he will learn. He is good about asking now, when he doesn't understand something, so that we can explain it to him.

It's little things like this that we all take for granted, and just know...  that Andrew and kids like him have to be 'taught'. He also doesn't understand 'feelings' very well. He knows, if you are crying, that you are sad..  and if you are smiling or laughing, then you are happy. However, unless it is obvious..  he doesn't get it. He even still gets some emotions wrong..  like when he is bored, he will say that he is sad. We are still working with him on these issues.

Both of my kids are a delight (most of the time) to be around and I feel blessed that God choose me to be their Mom. Both of them can be challenging in their own unique way, they are delightfully different, and get along well with each other. There is never a dull moment in our house. 

Andrew learns more and understand more each and every day. Austin is doing much better now learning to control himself and managing his behavior. It is constantly a work in progress around here, but they are doing it and I couldn't be happier. They both love home schooling, because they are surrounded by people who understand them, accept them for who they are and help them along the way...  something that neither one of them got in the public school system. I may not always do things in the conventional or traditional way...  but I want to make sure that my kids know that there are consequences for their actions and behaviors. If they don't learn that here, while they are young..  they will be in a world of hurt when they are grown and out on their own. People on the outside aren't/won't be as understanding or forgiving as we are here.



Here is the post i had previously made about Austin, the medications we have tried with him and what we are trying now.

For those of you who know me and my family..  Then you most likely know that my youngest son has ADHD, and a pretty good dose of it at that! He was diagnosed with this approx. 2-3 years ago. We tried the traditional meds that doctors prescribe for this condition -- and let me just say, that it has been a roller coaster, and not one that has been very fun! While one of the meds we tried did help greatly for his focus, attention, and calmed him down as far as his impulsiveness, and the bad behaviors that come along with all of this...  They ALL have had REALLY bad side effects. The top three being:

1)  His heart was beating too fast (this one started the roller coaster for us b/c the doc changed his meds for this one),
2)  They all suppressed his appetite to the point of him not eating AT ALL,
AND...
3)  When not doing something that required his focus and attention (ie: schoolwork) he walked around like a zombie, never smiled and just didn't seem happy at all.

NONE of these are ok with me! We like his personality and have never wanted to suppress that! We just wanted a calmer, more focused child that could get through his schoolwork with ease and hopefully learn something in the process. He IS, after all, a very smart little boy -- but with his brain racing 900 mph ALL the time, it is very hard for him to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. This makes schooling VERY difficult for him!

I have recently taken steps to try to help him in other ways. He has had some medical things going on lately that have prevented him from being able to take his "normal, doctor prescribed meds" and because I home school him, I KNOW that he HAD to have something to help with his focus and attention or I would NEVER be able to get him to do any schoolwork during this time. I had heard about supplements helping with lots of different things, so I thought I would start researching this avenue. After all, supplements are "all natural" and not made with all kinds of crap that make the benefits not worth it because the side effect are too horrendous!!

I am pleased to say that we have found some things that do work! While we haven't quite found the right combination just yet, I AM happy that we are at least headed in the right direction! The only "bad" side effects of this route, (that I have seen so far, anyway) is that Insurance doesn't cover the cost of any of it -- which I think should seriously change, btw -- AND he is now eating like crazy -- which has made my grocery bill go way up! However, I do believe that we can live with these things!

So, while I continue my/our journey to find the right combination of things that will work for him..  I will probably be posting about different things that I find interesting, and when I/we try these products, I will post how it helps or doesn't. I also welcome any HELPFUL comments/information from anyone. If you know of something that has worked for you and your child I am interested to know. If you have rude comments about how I should follow doctors advice and put him back on "their" recommended meds..  I am not interested! Thanks for listening and following us on our journey of finding ways to help my son the Natural Way!